Janet Jackson-’20 Y.O’

 

 

 

Janet Jackson, high priestess of the royal family of weird, is celebrating her twenty years in ‘the biz’ with a new album: ’20 Y.O’. Shame she didn’t choose to celebrate with a platter of vol au vents, and some warm bucks fizz like us mere mortals, because ’20 Y.O’ really ain’t all that.

Folks in the know are tipping ’20 Y.O’ to be the album that will jump start Ms Jackson’s flagging career and recapture those halcyon days of the 80s when she was celebrated the world over for her ground breaking style and musical prowess, not, as have been her sole claims to greatness these past few years, her “wardrobe malfunctions”, or her talent for gaining and losing twenty pounds in the blink of an eye.

Obviously keen to erase the world’s collective memory of her brush with stripperdom, ’20 Y.O’ is being marketed for all its worth as Janet’s long-time-coming return to form, and is being heralded as the album that will emulate the success of 1986’s ‘Control’- wildly touted as the “landmark” album of not just her career, but of the R’n’B genre as a whole.

Big talk, big hype, but ’20 Y.O.’ fails to deliver. Despite the team behind ‘Control’ once more at the helm, aided and abetted by one of the most forward thinking producers in the industry today (Jermaine ‘JD’ Dupri), ’20 Y.O.’ is uninspiring in the extreme. It lacks energy, drive and passion: qualities that at one time were synonymous with anything that Ms Jackson produced.

The twenty tracks that make up ’20 Y.O’ are bland and immediately forgettable. Even drafting in the vocal talents of the ubiquitous Nelly on lead single ‘Call on Me’ fails to create much of an impression. The duet is insipid and try hard, much like everything else on the album. Interspersed between the tracks are snippets of conversation: Janet and, one assumes, one of her producers casually wax lyrical (pun intended) about all that has gone before. It’s all very self indulgent, all very pointless, and totally cringe inducing. Memo to Janet: if you’re going to subject your fans to your inane ramblings, you could at least chuck in a bit of salacious gossip or a few hot rumours.

Possibly the only memorable track of the entire set is ‘Enjoy’, and it’s for all the wrong reasons. There sure as hell ain’t anything “enjoyable” about the song. Four minutes and thirty seconds of exquisitely banal lyrics and lifeless melody topped off with a chorus of children mindlessly chanting ‘enjoy’. Over and over again. It’s the stuff nightmares and Stephen King movies are made of. Shocking stuff.

’20 Y.O.’ is not likely to pull in any new fans, nor will it set the charts alight, but if tedious, colourless, lacklustre R’n’B is your thing then it might just float your boat. A most disappointing effort all round.

 

Written for: Entertainment Wise

Harold Heath-’Hole Funk’

 

 

 

Harold Heath might not be a name you instantly recognise, not outside of the world of tech house production at least, but the release of his debut album ‘Hole Funk’ on the sixth of November will surely change all that.

 

Harold Heath started out as DJ of the rare groove variety then in 2001 he decided to make the switch to production. This leap of faith paid off; he’s released an endless succession of hit productions for numerous top class labels.

 

‘Hole Funk’ sees him branching out further. It’s Heath’s first attempt at album production, but straight from the outset it’s clear it certainly won’t be his last.

‘Hole Funk’ is a sublime collection of tracks that showcase a diverse variety of musical influences: ambience, electronica, house and, funk to name but a few. It’s Mr Scruff meets MC Romeo meets Barry White: it’s wonderfully and impressively eclectic.

 

‘Hole Funk’ is a rich tapestry of rhymes and rhythms; funk filled grooves and ambient beats jostle for space on this gem of an album.

 

Harold Heath’s previous form as a DJ has stood him in good stead, he obviously knows a blinding tune when he hears one, and he’s been sure to pack ‘Hole Funk’ full to the brim with them. The mélange of styles and sounds builds a tangible atmosphere that pervades and embodies the entire album. Heath, in his musical mastery, has crafted a work that oozes genius. ‘Hole Funk’ blends and bends, it fuses textures and tempos to astonishing effect. There’s a very real sense of depth, of light and dark, colour and shade that permeates every single track.  Title track (the opener to the set) ‘Hole Funk’ is all about getting your groove on old skool style, a delicious slice of decadent mellow funk.  ‘Feel the Love’ is a beat laden trip melded with the breathy ephemeral and Bjork-esque vocals of Katie Mummery. The fantastically titled ‘Food for a Fat Pig’ is positively dripping with funk; it’s a pulsating juggernaut of a track that demands your attention.  ‘Message from the Future’ is very much on a MC tip, rapping and break beats rule supreme. Although each individual track is a piece of perfection in its own right, it’s as a collection that they really shine and come into their own. ‘Hole Funk’ is an essential funk album that needs to be heard to be believed. A self assured, competent and thrilling album from a producer that’s at the top of his game.

Written for: Entertainment Wise

LeAnn Rimes-’The LeAnn Rimes DVD Collection’

‘The Complete LeAnn Rimes DVD Collection’, released on the second of October, does what it says on the tin, or the DVD case to be exact.

It’s a collection of LeAnn Rimes’ music videos to date, in handy chronological order, just in case you, you know, weren’t up on Ms Rimes’ career progression.

Of course we all know the song that started it all off for her over here. She was already a firmly established star in her native US of A, having released her first album in 1994 at the ridiculously young age of twelve years old. But it was 1997’s ‘How Do I Live’ that brought her to the attention of the rest of the world. Unless you happened to be living in a particularly remote non radio equipped cave that year, its phenomenal sixty nine week assault on the charts was pretty damn inescapable.

‘The Complete LeAnne Rimes DVD Collection’ includes her two biggest UK hits: ‘How Do I Live’ and 2000’s Can’t Fight the Moonlight’, the sassy and impossibly perky girl powered theme to chick flick ‘Coyote Ugly’.

Her earlier-and less recognisable, over here, at least-releases are on there too. The songs are saccharine and middle of the road, typical candy-floss country, but despite the schmaltszy, overly twee lyrics, and mediocre melodies, it’s evident that Rimes possesses a voice that blows most other young artists out of the water. Ok, so she’s strictly of country stock, but, as ‘Can’t Fight the Moonlight’ proved, she can do funky, sexy pop just as well, if not better, as that other Southern sweetie, Britney Spears. And that’s not all! She can duet too. Seemingly only with British ex-boyband members (Ronan Keating and Bryan McFadden respectively), but they’re duets nevertheless. And surprisingly pleasing ones at that.

It’s certainly interesting to witness how LeAnn Rimes’ voice and style has evolved over the decade that this collection spans. First track ‘Blue’ (released in 1996) now seems very dated; a syrupy faux-blues tale of unrequited love. And the clothes! Shocking! Actually, the true entertainment value of ‘The Complete LeAnn Rimes DVD Collection’ doesn’t lie in the music as at all. No, it comes from seeing all the hideously outfits that Ms Rime’s was forced to wear in her earlier videos. PVC trousers anyone? And that’s just for starters. But back to the music: ‘The Complete LeAnn Rimes DVD Collection’ is sure to be a treat for ardent fans of LeAnn, but aside from that, there’s not really a lot of scope to it. Aside from providing a good chuckle for all the wrong reasons, of course. If you are indeed already a fan, you’ll no doubt have her entire back catalogue, so the DVD, which is basically a cut and paste video montage, is pretty redundant. And if you’re not already a fan, then this middle of the road production is certainly not going to convert you.

Written for: Entertainment Wise

The Magic Numbers-’Take A Chance’

Those perky purveyors of breezy poppy sun drenched melodies The Magic Numbers return with their new single ‘Take a Chance’. Taken from their forthcoming second album ‘Those the Brokes’, ‘Take a Chance’ is not so much ‘The Magic Numbers’, as singing by numbers. Folk-lite guitar riffs, bouncy drum beats, cheery harmonies, sunny vocals: ‘The Magic Numbers’ seem determined on sticking to the formula that saw them catapult to the big time with their eponymous summer 2005 debut album. Obviously staunch believers in that ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ adage, ‘The Magic Numbers’ have stuck to it to the letter. Melodies, even lyrics have been recycled for ‘Take a Chance’. There doesn’t appear to be an ounce of originality in it, they might as well have re-released one of their former hits because this sounds exactly the same as anything they’ve done before. Save your money, listen to their debut on repeat instead, you won’t be missing much.

Written for: Entertainment Wise

Shiny Shiny

I can now be found blogging at Shiny Shiny, owned by Shiny Media, Shiny Shiny is a “girl’s guide to gadgets” in the form of a very shiny, very pink blog.

You can catch me there daily.

Embrace @ Colston Hall 27/09/06

 

Fresh from their summer gigging in forests around the country (as you do), Embrace are back on the tour bus once more. This time it’s business as usual, no more forests for them, no sir.

 

Supporting them is indie/glam/rock outfit The Delays. Their hour and a half set is raucous, thrilling and seriously cool. Lead singer Greg Gilbert’s voice is mesmerizing as he effortlessly reaches notes that no man should be able to reach. The Delays’ high-octane glam indie was the perfect for getting the party started and, when they eventually rocked out at eight forty-five, the undercurrent amongst the revellers was palpable.

 

Time for the main event. Embrace’s entrance was heralded by an aural cacophony. It’s no secret that Embrace fans are a fiercely loyal bunch, and the reception the boys received as they strode across the stage spoke volumes. Literally-loud doesn’t cover it. The fans love Embrace and Embrace love their fans: it’s that simple.

 

From the second Danny McNamara picks up the mic, he owns the stage. And he knows it. Opening with the absolutely belting ‘No Use Crying’ (from their current album ‘This New Day’) he grips the crowd and has them eating out of the palm of his hand.

 

The set is a clever melee of old favourites and spangly new hits. The old school exhilaration of ‘Save Me’, ‘All You Good Good People’ and ‘Come Back to What you Know’ churned up with the shiny newness of ‘The End is Near’, ‘Celebrate’, and ‘Sainted’-which was quite possibly worth the ticket price alone: under Danny’s direction the crowd’s instructed to stand up, hold hands and basically mosh for all their worth. Ever seen a balcony filled to capacity with people leaping up and down like acid fuelled Duracell bunnies? It’s a wondrous sight to be sure.

Gravity-the song that literally saved them from the dole queues-takes it down a notch with its ethereal vocals and dreamy melody.  In between giving the crowd their money’s worth Danny reassures those gathered that Embrace are not (read his lips) planning on splitting anytime soon, contrary to the rumours that have been flying round. Collective sigh of relief and a couple of ‘hell yeahs’ thrown in for good measure, and it’s on with the show.

 

And what a show it is. Textbook Embrace: rousing, sweaty, raw, passionate and honest. Closing with barn-storming ‘Ashes’, the boys ensure they go out with a bang, bringing to a close a gig that has quite literally: rocked. And then some.

Written for Gig Wise

‘Gold Digging-As Sampled by Tupac’ (Harmless)

On the thirteenth of September 1996 the hip hop industry lost one of its leading lights: Tupac Amaru Shakur.

 

Born in New York City in 1971, Tupac is wildly accepted as being the greatest rapper ever, and  one of the biggest influences on many of today’s rap stars-Eminem, 50 Cent and Ja Rule to name but a few. Indeed The Guinness Book of Records lists him as the most successful rap artist ever.

 

As talented as Shakur undoubtedly was in the studio, he was also one of rap’s  self confessed ‘bad boys’ and was never far from trouble; his life was turbulent to say the very least: a couple of spells in prison, a wrongful death lawsuit filed against him and a suspected attempt on his life. All within the space of two years.  

 

It was almost with little surprise that the world received news of his untimely murder a decade ago. From the outset Tupac’s life seemed to be marred with tragedy and controversy.

 

Despite his misdemeanours (and there were a few!) he was generally regarded as something of a genius when it came to doing what he did best: making music.

 

During his short but illustrious career- he sold over 73 million albums worldwide!-Tupac sampled some twenty songs. And nineteen of these songs-in their original forms- are brought together in this ‘Gold Digging-As sampled by Tupac’ collection. This, incidentally, is the third release in the ‘Gold Digging…..As Sampled by’ series; Messrs Jay-Z and Kanye West having been the first and second featured artists respectively. So a good pedigree, obviously.

 

One thing’s for sure: Tupac had taste. Sampling from artists as diverse as Elton John and Minnie Ripperton, Sly and the Family Stone to Joe Cocker, the range of songs is both eclectic and excellent.

 

Every single track on the album is a nugget of perfection (Gold Digging/nugget. Geddit?) , each as effortlessly cool as the one before it.  However, a definite stand out track would have to be Elton John’s ‘Indian Sunset’ which was sampled on Tupac’s posthumous summer 2005 release ‘Ghetto Gospel’. Shooting straight to number one it proved, even nine years after his death, that Tupac was still a very big deal in the world of hip hop, and that, crucially, he had not become irrelevant to today’s (notoriously) fickle record buying public.

 

Don’t be fooled. This CD is not only a must for fans of Tupac, it’s a must for fans of good music too. Something which, sadly, there is very little of around., so take note all you wannabe pop stars: this is how it’s done.

Written for Entertainment Wise

Cassie-’Cassie’ (Atlantic)

 

Hot on the proverbial heels of Christina Milian, Ciara, and Rihanna, comes the latest R’n’B popstrel du jour: Cassie.

 

So.Another day, another wannabe Beyoncé. Yawn.

 

The obligatory back story: Cassie moved to New York City in 2004, and it’s there that she hooked up with producer/artist Ryan Leslie. They started recording together. This partnership (strictly business, don’t’cha know) caught the attention of former Sony chairman and major league industry player Tommy Mottola , and  a certain rap mogul by the name of Sean Combes (or P.Diddy, or Puff Daddy, or whatever the hell he likes to be called this week). Mottola was obviously suitably impressed. Immediately after hearing her demo, he’d signed her. Fast work indeed.

Next came signing to Ryan Leslie’s  NextSelection  production company. And, after that? Why, the practically mandatory nowadays “MySpace” method of self-promotion. Which-wouldn’t you just know it?- worked. The phenomenal number of hits to her site forced the record label head honchos to sit up and take notice. A bidding war ensured. The victor? Mr Puffy himself. Quelle surprise.

Cassie signed to Combe’s Bad Boy label in the spring of this year.

 

There’s no denying the girl’s been busy, but is the fruit of this intensive labour-debut album ‘Cassie’, released at the end of August- actually any good? Well, no.

Eleven tracks long and not a single track stands out. Not one. It’s generic at best, soporific at worst. In fact: plagued by insomnia? Stick this on. Guaranteed to have you snoring in seconds. Or your money back. It is just that dull.

 

So the girl can hold a tune and she sure looks purty. But then again the same can be said for every other female R’n’B lite artist out there.

Cassie is nothing new. And neither, sadly, is her album. Rather than sounding fresh and new, as one might reasonably expect, it sounds formulaic and tired. Quite a feat considering it’s her debut. From the very first track to the very last, one’s overwhelming emotion upon listening is apathy, for, in this most saturated of genres, there really isn’t anything left that hasn’t been done, that we haven’t heard before. We have reached an impasse. Sometimes it feels as if one is stuck in the musical equivalent of ‘Groundhog Day’. The same tunes, the same songs, rehashed, repackaged, and re-released. Again and again. On and on ad infinitum.

 

Of course it would have been nice if Cassie had been the one to break this cycle, but it obviously wasn’t to be. Oh well. Maybe next time, eh? And then again. Maybe not.

Written for Entertainment Wise

Mr Scruff’s ‘Big Chill Classics’ (Big Chill)

 

 

 

Question: What’s more chilled than a chilli in a chiller cabinet in Chile?

Answer: ‘Mr Scruff’s Big Chill Classics….big up your tent!’ that’s what.

 

This stupendous double album-released earlier this month- consists of twenty four (count ‘em) tracks on two CDs. That’s a whole lotta chill.

 

Firstly, a history lesson: Big Chill started life way back in the mists of time, actually, it was in 1994, but who’s counting. But mists of time sounded much more mysterious. Founded by Pete Lawrence and Katrina Larkin, Big Chill is a huge –positively gargantuan- festival of dance, indie, ambient, chillout, world, reggae and folk music that takes place every summer. In Herefordshire. Of all places.

 

Cult Stockport born DJ and artist Mr Scruff-or, Andy Carthy, as he’s known to his mother-has been a stalwart of The Big Chill festival for the past ten years, so it comes as no surprise, that he was artist chosen to select this year’s cream of the Big Chill crop for the latest in the Big Chill Classics compilation series.

 

Mr Scruff obviously knows his stuff. And has damn fine taste in music to boot: each track on the compilation is a mouth watering musical masterpiece; bluesy vibes, earthy folk, seductive guitar riffs, sumptuous Jazz, and hazy, lazy indie. To describe it as eclectic would be to utter the understatement of several millennia. There is, without a doubt, something for every possible taste, mood and persuasion on this gloriously rich offering. ‘Mr Scruff’s  Big Chill Classics’ is a sublime, decadent, melting tapestry of sweet soulful sounds that instantly lulls the listener into a state of languid bliss.

 

This is album is so laid back it’s practically horizontal. Had a hard day at the office (what’s new-eh?)? Car failed its MOT (again)? Forgotten to send in your Tax return on time (naughty, naughty)? Never fear ‘Mr Scruff’s Big Chill Classics ‘is here. Once you stick this on your stereo you’ll forget what it was that was ever troubling you. Hell, you’ll probably even forget your own name. If Sunday mornings were to be recorded onto a nice shiny, spangly CD, they would sound like this. Fact. ‘Mr Scruff’s Big Chill Classics’ is the perfect slice of chillout perfection. With the affable Mr Scruff at the helm, and the pedigree of the Big Chill festival behind it, this compilation is destined for big things. Just you wait and see.

Written for Entertainment Wise

Fergie-’London Bridge’ (Polydor)

 

 

OK, so she may be more chavtastic than a barrel of Burberry baseball caps, but there’s no denying the girl has talent.

Yes, Fergie, the curiously cosmetically enhanced (Bride of Wildenstein Mark II, anyone?) lead singer of The Black Eyed Peas, has struck out on her own. It had to happen sometime.

Debut solo single ‘London Bridge’ is Fergie at her best: saucy, sassy, and slick. It’s a stomping, romping bunch of beats, with more than a not so subtle nod to Gwen Stefani’s equally raucous ‘Hollaback Girl’. In fact, the similarity in places is uncanny, but that is definitely no bad thing. The chorus is so contagious it should come with a public health warning. Seriously.

‘London Bridge’ is damn near the finest song to immortalise the words ‘London’ and ‘Bridge’ in the same sentence, since, er, that old classic ‘London Bridge is Falling Down’. But Fergie’s ‘London Bridge’ ain’t falling down anywhere, least of all in the charts-it’s currently riding high at number three. So-love it or hate it; seems like Fergie and her humps are here to stay.

Written for Entertainment Wise